How I stay positive in my life

Hi friends! I have been sitting down facing my computer all day and thinking how I could write this without sounding condescending, and figured out I would just type and erase as I go. Let’s see what we end up with! 🙂

One of the things you might not know about me, even though I think it might be easy to guess considering I am always smiling, is I am a very positive person. I am a glass-half-full kind of girl, and try to see the positive in every situation even if sometimes it can be tough. I think life built me that way in my early 20s, because to be honest I cannot remember “positivity” being one of my character traits early in my life. Don’t get me wrong I’ve never been a negative person, but I guess I just never had to try and see the positive out of a bad situation, well… because I never really had bad situations growing up!

I’ve gone through a lot of things since turning 18, which I’ve talked about a bit before here and there, and had my share of tough moments – we all have. But right now, if I had to ask people who know me if they could describe me in a few words you can be pretty sure positive will be one of them. I am not trying to send myself roses or anything. This isn’t me fishing for compliments or trying to put myself on a pedestal – just the opposite. I actually hope to empower you and anyone who might read this to start focusing on the positive in their lives, and trust me it is much easier than focusing on the negative – and much less tiring.

You know when they say that if you force yourself to smile, it will trick your brain into thinking you are happy? Hell yes, it works! I do it all the time, even if I am just home talking to my cat (which FYI is one of the biggest sources of positivity in my life… cats are always good!). Smiling is contagious, which means the more you smile the more others will smile, which will make you smile more which will make them smile more, etc… You get what I am trying to say? The vicious circle of smiling!

When I get a bad day, and trust me they happen, there are a few things I like to do for myself to bring some happy thoughts. I figured I would share a few, in case they might inspire you to try them out and see for yourself if they work.

First, and this might be obvious, I like to go to the gym. Ok scratch that I actually don’t “like” going to the gym, it is more something I force myself to do because I know I always feel much better when I am done. You know that high you get after finishing a run or a workout class (or anything that was physically demanding)? Your body basically releases endorphins that act as a pain-killer into your brain, creating a vibe of positivity! Personally I love to sweat when I work out, so cardio exercises like the treadmill or the stair-master are my thing – but it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “gym” workout at all. I love to take a walk or go for a bike ride, just anything to change the scenario I am in and get some fresh air!

It is so easy to get lost in your own head when something goes wrong, overanalyzing so much (us women are pretty famous for that). Sometime you just need someone to lift your chin up and tell you that it isn’t as bad as you think. Being that person for others in my life has seriously helped me being more positive for myself! Helping someone else with their problems, trying to find the silver-lining of a situation that is happening to them, forced me to try and do the same for myself. I have to be that positive voice in my own head telling me to try and find the light in the dark. If you can do it for others, you can do it for yourself! It isn’t easy at first, it actually drains a lot of energy out of you. But it gets simpler and becomes something my brain does automatically now. Give yourself the chance to create a habit out of thinking positive. They say it takes 21 days to make a new habit, so don’t give up because it is hard at the beginning!

Another thing that helps me stay in control of negativity is slowing down and taking time for myself. So many people burn out when trying to achieve too much, wether it being with their work, their personal lives, or anything they put their minds into. Being self-employed means I don’t really have “working hours”, I basically work when there is work to do even if it means middle of the night email-answering sessions. This past year I’ve really forced myself to call it quits at night. After 7pm, even if emails or anything comes through I let it wait until the morning. I have pushed myself to disconnect from the online world – obviously as much as possible without making myself a hermit! – and just spend time with me, myself and I. Cuddling on the couch with tea and a movie or a book has made me slow down and realize that whatever problems I faced that day and might face the next day, well they can wait! They won’t go anywhere, and chances are I will be much better at handling them if I feel rested and calm – versus stressed out and tired after a night of working and draining myself. My friends have made fun of me for this and called me a grandma because my bedtime is several hours earlier than theirs, and I am totally fine with it!! I have an old lady soul!

Last thing then I’ll let you go back to your lives because I’ve kept you here long enough! I used to be very vulnerable when getting criticism or facing a challenge I thought I couldn’t do. Like I’d take everything straight to heart and think if someone said anything to me it meant I failed where others might have succeeded, which put me in a spiral of self-destroying thoughts. It wasn’t easy, but little by little I started turning these situations into humorous ones. If someone tells you something that hurts your feelings, listen to it and try to come up with a smart silver-lining! Now, I am absolutely not saying to say something back that might hurt the other person, but more like think of how this situation could be taken less seriously. This works for any kind of situations in life. For example, when we created my blog a few years ago, we would often run into problems. By we, I mean my computer-genius boyfriend and my computer-challenged self. I used to think everything that went wrong was a sign to give up, and often I would feel like it was my fault and would apologize. He, however, always had a positive outlook on things and instead of saying “this is too complicated”, he would say “this makes things more interesting”. Do you see what I mean? He would take a bad situation and turn it into a challenge, which made it less negative and more exciting! I’m not sure if I make any sense at all, but what I am trying to say is: don’t take criticism or failures at heart. Don’t let them bring you down, but outwit and outsmart them! If you don’t let them get to you, even if you fail you end up winning. Because often what matters isn’t the outcome, but the way to get there. You know what they say, “What matters isn’t the destination, but the journey.”

I feel like all I just wrote down can be summarized into this: smile, smile, SMILE, don’t let what others think bring you down, and get some fresh air! 
Be positive, find the silver-lining in situations where you think there aren’t any, and remember this: my grand-father used to say “no matter what happens today, it won’t prevent the sun from coming up tomorrow”. Ok, he said it in a slightly more funny/vulgar way, but there is no way I would have typed that here! 🙂

Photo credit: Mash Elle

LEAVE A COMMENT

8 Comments

  • Catherine

    This is beautiful. Sometimes it’s plain old tough to stay positive when you feel like the universe is against you. Thanks for the reminders on how to keep that chin up and keep smiling 🙂

    • Marie

      I know the feeling trust me, but you know what they say: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

  • Jordan L

    THIS!

    People always forget the power of a smile! I often have to remind myself to do this. Of course we can all get caught up in our own misery, but it’s so important to take a step back and find the positive in every situation. Can’t find the positive? Then there is always a lesson to be learned. I also agree that going to the gym is so helpful, even if you just walk on a treadmill. As someone who is trying to launch her own blog, I totally know the feeling of “This must be a sign to give up”. Then I take a step back, take a breath, and begin again.

    Thanks for spreading the positivity!

    -Jordan

    • Marie

      I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to read your comment. Thank you for this, thank you for reading, and thank you for sharing!

  • Samama Khan

    Wow! You look like as princes!!
    Regards.
    MiiKey MiiSport C Blue Wireless

    • Marie

      Thank you 🙂

  • Dad

    Tu m’impressionnes.

    • Marie

      🙂 🙂 🙂