Learning to embrace every season in life

I feel it has been so long – too long – since I sat down in my peacefully quiet apartment with the windows open and the sunshine coming in, and wrote down everything that has been going through my mind recently. A few days ago, I was at an event and someone came to me and told me (hi, Marilou!) that she loved my Coffee Date posts, and it made me realize I haven’t done one in months. Sometimes it can be hard to regroup your thoughts, open up and be more vulnerable, especially on the internet when anything can be reconstructed and understood in every way possible. But I am at a place right now where not only do I feel like I should write, I actually want to write.

I constantly get messages from women and girls who ask for advice or just want to know how do bloggers make it seem like they have it all together. While I can’t speak for everyone, in my case trust me I don’t. Especially recently, when I have been so busy with life and I would just sit back and think “is this all worth it?”. It is way easier to make it seem like everything is rose and peachy, than actually having to deal with it. Before you get any ideas, this is not me complaining – far from that. I love my life, and I have come to a point where I accept and welcome every season of it. I’ve always been someone who expected things to go the way I wanted them to go – and I have always put the work in to try my best to succeed. But sometimes, life takes you in directions you aren’t sure how to handle, and it gets blurry and you don’t know what to expect next – but it is ok. I’m at a place in my life where I never thought I would be, both personally and professionally and it isn’t always easy to accept it, but I am learning not to expect anything and to just go with the flow – however hard it can get.

THIS season of my life, right here right now, is all about me. It might sound selfish (and it can be), but I am at a point where to be better to others, I have to first be better to myself.

If you’ve read some of my Coffee Date posts before, you know I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. And while I try to always think positive and chase those negative thoughts away, it gets hard. I never imagined this situation would last this long, or be this intense on both our hearts. Love is a beautiful thing, and when you find someone who makes you whole it is something to fight for, but being apart is hard. There is no other way to put it. I know some of you reading this are also in the same situation, and I always love and appreciate when you reach out to me and talk about it because it does make me feel less alone. I personally know my relationship, and know it is worth the struggle, but if you had asked me years ago where I would see myself right now I would have never said “having a relationship with my phone”! But you know what? It is in situations like this that you have to put yourself first and see the positive things that are happening (sometimes without you noticing them!). I made friends and created bonds with people that I don’t think I would have been able to, should my boyfriend be here right now – simply because I wouldn’t have had the time! I get to spend so much time discovering who I am when I don’t have the influence of anyone in my life (something I have never been able to do in the past, going from the family home to meeting my boyfriend at 18). I get to spend this period of my life focused on learning how to love myself, only to be better at loving others and giving them my best self. 

I also absolutely love what I am doing in life, my blog is everything I could have imagined – but I have these moments where I wish it could just be so much more. It is easy to compare yourself to others, think some people have figured it out way better than you – especially in this digital life I am leading. I constantly see other influencers and bloggers who are just growing at alarming rates, and I see my numbers stay steady. But you know what? It is fine! While others get to travel the world, I get to make memories and experiences right here and live in this place that I love! My time to travel the world will come at some point, be it through my blog or because of my personal life – I am not worried about it. Everything changes eventually, and there is no point in bringing yourself down with the ideas of “if only I was there” or “if only I looked like that” or “if only I could do that”,… I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that there is good in everything, even if it might not seem like it.

This season of my life is all about me. I get to be selfish, I get to do the things I want, and I get to better myself so that when the seasons change, I am ready. We need to enjoy every part of our lives, because it makes us who we are, and who we will become!

So this is me, not pretending I got it all figured out or have some kind of miracle thoughts that will make everything better, not trying to teach you a lesson or show you how to get things done. This is me, going through my life, keeping my head out of the water as much as I can, and sharing it with you. This is me, showing you that I am vulnerable too, and that sometimes I think it is ok to let it show. To some, this post might sound pointless and a waste of time, but I hope that to others this might make you feel less alone, be a reminder that nothing is permanent in life – not even the bad moments, and maybe might make you learn something about me that you can relate to.

PS: I just thought these photos were too beautiful. Life is beautiful!
PPS: my dress is sold out but my necklaces are available here

Photo credits: Natalia Vasylkiv